The Struggle of Getting Honest Feedback

Have you ever sat down with your employees, asked for their input during a meeting—and got that blank stare? Sometimes it’s the classic deer-in-the-headlights look. Other times, it’s that polite but puzzled expression that seems to question your sincerity in asking. Getting honest feedback from your team is tough.

As a small organization leader, I’ve seen this reaction many times. At best, it’s a sign that I wasn’t being clear in my communication. And I’ve definitely been there—asking for honest feedback but unintentionally creating confusion.

But sometimes, the issue runs deeper.

Leadership Influence: More Powerful Than You Think

As leaders, we carry significant influence—and employees may hesitate to speak candidly out of fear or uncertainty. Even when we ask for their thoughts, there may be an invisible barrier that keeps real insight locked away.

If you’ve ever been an employee yourself, think back to when a boss asked for your opinion. Did you hesitate? Did you soften your response? If so, you already understand how your own employees might feel when you pose those same questions.

This phenomenon is closely tied to psychological safety—a concept supported by robust research. The more psychologically safe your employees feel, the more likely they are to contribute honestly, offer ideas, and take healthy risks. But safety doesn’t just happen—it’s cultivated through leadership behavior, often in subtle ways.

How Expectations Become Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

One of the other issues in this space is how leader expectations shape employee behavior. Studies have shown that negative expectations from a leader are communicated more easily than positive ones—even unintentionally.¹

Here’s how that works: if a leader assumes a particular employee will underperform, their unconscious behavior—tone, body language, the kinds of tasks delegated—often reflects that. The employee senses it, and their motivation and confidence drop. Over time, the leader’s assumption becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.²

This creates a cycle that undermines innovation, engagement, and ultimately the insight leaders are hoping to receive when they ask for input.

Why Traditional Feedback Tools Don’t Always Work for Small Teams

One way larger organizations try to surface these blind spots is through a 360-degree feedback survey. These tools collect anonymous insights from employees, peers, and others in a leader’s circle. They’re powerful—but in a small organization, they’re often impractical. Anonymity can’t be guaranteed, and participation may be too limited to draw meaningful conclusions.

So what can small organization leaders do?

Start by strengthening your empathy and mindfulness. Before giving feedback—or even making casual comments—pause and consider how your words might feel from your employee’s point of view. It takes practice, and it may feel clunky at first, but this awareness can shift the emotional climate of your team.

Practical Steps to Build Trust and Openness to get Honest Feedback

Another practical step is to offer regular, specific praise. Acknowledge what your employees are doing well. Be detailed. Point out the impact of their work. This builds trust, reinforces positive expectations, and lays the groundwork for the kind of openness that allows real insight to surface.

By becoming more intentional in how we lead, we make it safer—and more rewarding—for our employees to speak up. And when they do, we gain access to the wisdom, creativity, and perspective that can help our organizations truly thrive.

Key Points

• Building psychological safety helps employees feel safe sharing honest feedback and ideas.
• Leaders’ expectations—especially negative ones—can unintentionally influence how employees perform.
• 360-degree feedback tools are often impractical for small organizations due to size and anonymity challenges.
• Practicing empathy and offering specific praise helps build trust and encourages open communication.

Sources:
¹ Livingston, J. S. (2003, January). Pygmalion in Management. Harvard Business Review, 5–12. https://hbr.org/2003/01/pygmalion-in-management
² Hubbart, J. A. (2024). Understanding and mitigating leadership fear-based behaviors on employee and organizational success. Administrative Sciences, 14(9), 225. https://doi.org/10.3390/admsci14090225

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